Many of the parents that show up for therapy, an intensive, or even just consult on a phone call about our services talk about how all the parents, and friends they speak with – or even their own family members -truly do not get what they are going through.
Over, and over, and over – it’s the same story but with different details. As parents of children with developmental trauma – isolation is a common feeling. Everyone seems to have a solution to their problems. “If you were just more strict”….”if you said no once and awhile… maybe they wouldn’t be this way”…. “If it were my child I would do…” Everyone seems to have advice, solutions, fixes for these parents – but the reality is – they have already tried these things. They are confiding in their friends and family because they don’t want to feel alone, and then they end up feeling more alone. What a terrible, exhausting and isolating feeling.
Parenting a child with developmental trauma isn’t easy. Everything that you think you should do, doesn’t work, and everything you have tried with your other children seems to have the opposite effect in their case. It’s like living in a world where all the furniture is on the ceiling, and you can’t sit down. It’s never-ending. As a parent you begin to doubt your ability to parent this child, terrified you will mess it up or do it wrong…again. You begin to doubt yourself, and feel completely and utterly lost and confused. While the comments that people are making are ‘well intentioned,’ what they don’t realize is they are creating a stronger sense of shame for these parents, and not supporting them at all. These parents are seeking connection, not solutions. So what is it that parents of kids with developmental trauma need?
They need to feel supported, they need to feel like they aren’t the only parents in the world that are dealing with these issue, and they need to be HEARD!
Parents of children with development trauma, this is for you – YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are other parents all over this country that are experiencing what you are experiencing, every day. What you are experiencing is hard, confusing, and exhausting and it feels like you can’t ever do anything right. Right? You live in a world that is complete opposite of what it should be, and it’s hard to feel like it will ever get better. It feels hopeless. There is a community of people out there that do truly ‘get it’ and we are here to support you. If this feels familiar to you, and something that you are experiencing on the regular – let’s connect. I bet we have some options of things that will help with what you are going through.